


He is My Home

by M5712_B33



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Spencer Reid, M/M, Past Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid - Freeform, Sad Spencer Reid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:02:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29593902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M5712_B33/pseuds/M5712_B33
Summary: All I want is to go home, but that's hard to do when my home is a person, and my person is gone.Sad Spencer angst with no happy ending.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Kudos: 12





	He is My Home

All I want is to go home, but that's hard to do when my home is a person, and my person is gone. My person left. Left, and never looked back. My best friend, My family, My lover, gone.

When I first joined the BAU, I knew it was best not to get close to anyone. I failed miserably at that. Derek and his smile, and Garcia with her stupid nicknames. It was hard to resist being their friend. After all, I've never really had many friends. The chance to feel loved and accepted was too tempting. I tried to distance myself at first; sitting away from everyone on the jet, staying home instead of going out with the team, and focusing on my work instead of joining in on conversations. But eventually, I failed. 

I guess it was worth it. The family I gained, was perfect. Then Elle left. She was the first person to befriend me. it was my fault, really. If I had said something, maybe things would have ended differently. Then Gideon left. His absence hit hard. I was so desperate for a father figure I allowed myself to get too close. Then he left, like my real father, leaving only a letter. When Emily died I was broken. She was my best friend, my partner in crime, the one I told everything to. Then she came back, only to leave again. With Blake, I thought it would be different. She felt like a mother, but like everyone else, she too left. 

It was a never-ending cycle. I meet someone, I get attached, I get hurt. But throughout this all, Derek was the one I never thought would leave. I loved him, and he loved me. He was my happy ending. I guess I just wasn't enough. I never will be. 

When he left he took a piece of me with him, leaving me with nothing. I'm not okay, I never will be okay. A happy ending is never a promise, it's a wish. I guess mine didn't come true. I guess it never will.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the angst!! I was in a sad mood. I promise to do some fluff next to balance it out. Remember to stay safe and wear a mask! If you ever feel alone remember I love you <3
> 
> \- Bee


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